Chapter 2: THE CRITICAL IMPORTANCE OF DEVELOPING A RESILIENT PERSONALITY
As we age, we are usually confronted with an increase in difficult life developments, often health related, with which we must respond. These are often situations that confront us as individuals and situations that impact people we know and love that can be frustrating and depressing. For that reason, this second chapter provides information that helps you identify how resilient you are and how you can improve your ability to respond positively to setbacks.
12 Qualities of Highly Resilient People
Rate each of the qualities that follow on a scale of 1 (Definitely NOT a quality I demonstrate) to 10 (Definitely IS a very strong quality I demonstrate often)
Playful, childlike curiosity_____
Constantly learn from experience_____
Adapt quickly_____
Have solid esteem & self-confidence_____
Have good friendships, loving relationships_____
Express feelings honestly_____
Expect things to work out well_____
Read others with empathy_____
Use intuition, creative hunches_____
Defend self well_____
Have a talent for serendipity (when good things happen by accident) _____
Get better and better every decade_____
The Resiliency Advantage: Master Change, Thrive Under Pressure, and Bounce Back from Setbacks, Al Siebert, PhD – https://resiliencycenter.com
Dr. Al Siebert is an acknowledged expert regarding the science of resilience – “The ability to bounce back from life developments that may feel totally overwhelming at first.”
I strongly encourage you to do two things. Complete the self-assessment above, and then go on his website to take the resilience quiz that is located there. You do not have to register on the site to take the quiz and they do not store your scores or ask for contact information. What they do is give you your resilience score and discuss on the site what you might do to increase your resiliency if you so choose.
A PLANNING GUIDE EXERCISE: Look over your answers above and from the quiz on Dr. Siebert’s website if you chose to go there and reflect on how resilient a person you believe you are based on your answers to those exercises. Write down your thoughts regarding how resilient you have been in your life to date. Identify areas where you have been successful and those areas where you might want to put more effort.
Identifying Your Energizers: The 3 Unconscious Motives
PLANNING GUIDE EXERCISE: What follows are descriptions of three motives that are indicators of what energizes you. Please read each descriptor that explains the need inherent in the motive and rank them from one (absolutely the highest motivation/need) to two and then three (absolutely the lowest of the three motivations/needs). Please take the time to decide which answer is first, second, and last. This takes reflection which is why setting the exercise aside and revisiting it later in the day or on a future day can be helpful. Look at all phases of your life, the personal, professional, familial, etc.
Achievement – the need to surpass a standard of excellence set by oneself or others. _____
Affiliation – the need to develop and protect close personal relationships. _____
Influence – the need to have a strong impact on others. _____
Human Motivation, David McClelland, PhD
When someone is highly motivated by one or more of these energizers, they often get up in the morning and are thinking:
“What can I do today to win, improve on what I have done previously?” Achievement.
“What can I do to improve my relationship with one or more important people in my life?” Affiliation.
“What action can I take to have a strong impact on my work team, my family, a particular person, my community, or the world?” Influence.
These energizers drive behavior in a very powerful way which is why understanding how strong they are might help you understand what actions you would be motivated and energized to take to reach the goals you will create in your Mission Statement/Action Plan in chapter 4.
In my case, I learned very early through conversations with my High School guidance counselor that I wanted to have a positive impact on as many people as possible. This desire to influence was the most important motive for me and my desire to have close personal relationships although important, was not as important as my desire to influence. This knowledge helped me make decisions in my life about writing and presenting programs and teaching and coaching that all had to do with the importance of having influence and positive impact.
As mentioned previously, keep your answers to these two exercises on resilience for use in the Mission Statement/Action Plan creation in the fourth and final chapter.
Next week we will be discussing the critical importance of maintaining a brain and body healthy lifestyle.
Free Resources
A Power point deck, Planning Guide and complete copy of this four part article are available for free in the Workshop Section of this website at: https://havepositiveimpact.com/workshops/. You do not have to register on the site, and your downloading of those resources will not be tracked. If you are a trained presenter, teacher, facilitator, workshop leader, HR professional and all related titles you can use those materials which I have used in a course with the same title as this article without attribution. I want as many people as possible to know how to live a longer, healthier, happier and more impactful life.
Foundational Resources
–The Brain Training Revolution: A Proven Workout for Healthy Aging – Paul Bendheim M.D. is a foundational resource and the text for this article and the program Making the Most of Your 2nd Fifty Years. As I have said previously, I am not affiliated in any way with Dr. Bendheim. If you have found these articles helpful, I encourage you to buy his book.
– www.job-hunt.org This is the best job search website available and therefore is the 2nd of 4 foundational resources for this article and the Making the Most of Your 2nd Fifty Years program. This site has many articles for those who are looking for jobs in their 2nd fifty years. Some article titles include: Job Search Advantages of Being Over 59…LinkedIn Profile Photos for Job Seekers Over 50…Remote Jobs in Retirement: What You Need to Know…10 Keys to a Rewarding Second Act Career.
–www.aarp.org – AARP provides dozens of resources that help individuals find a job and lead a healthy, purposeful 2nd fifty years. An example is Great Jobs for Everyone 50+, Updated Edition: Finding Work That Keeps You Happy and Healthy…and Pays the Bills– Kerry Hannon.
Therefore, AARP is the 3rd foundational resources for this article and the Making the Most of Your 2nd Fifty Years program.
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu The Greater Good Science Center is a foundational resource for this article and program because its entire focus is on helping people lead happy, healthy, purposeful lives. It has many articles and resources relevant for your second fifty years including: What Neuroscience Can Tell You About Aging Better…How Optimism May Keep You Alive Longer…Do we Need a New Roadmap for Getting Older? … Can a Happier Spouse Help You Live Longer? The Greater Good Science Center is our 4th foundational resource.
Additional Resources
-Have a Positive Impact During Uncertain Times www.amazon.com is my 3rd book and an Amazon International #1 Bestseller. It provides numerous additional ideas and resources that support the exercises and actions mentioned in this article/workshop about leading a long, healthy, positive and impactful life.
–The Resiliency Advantage: Master Change, Thrive Under Pressure and Bounce Back from Setbacks – Al Siebert, PhD.
–The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen R. Covey.
–Peak Performance: Mental Training Techniques of the World’s Greatest Athletes – Charles Garfield PhD.
–Your Retirement, Your Way – Alan Bernstein & John Trauth.
–Career Anchors – Edgar Schein PhD.
–The Retirement Boom – Allen, Bearg, Foley & Smith.
–www.encore.org The Encore Career Handbook: How to Make a Living & Difference in the Second Half of Life.